Thursday, July 30

Today I did not go to the hospital until this evening. Bob went by to assess the situation in the morning and she was down in Xray getting a scan for the blood clot.

When we went tonight, she had big mitts on her hands. She had hit a nurse, spit at a nurse, and tried to pull out her central line (again!). She had to be sedated which, of course, undermines the whole reason they were cutting down her pain meds---to see if she returned to normal, mentally and emotionally. This is so discouraging and I hate to see my mother this way. She keeps trying to remove the mitts. She said, "Oh I will get these off--you wait and see."

Bryn's coming up this weekend and I really need her--I need someone and poor Bob has been here with me through all of this. I feel sorry for him. I told him to go enjoy the cottage in Maine and he said, "Enjoying it without you is inconceivable to me. Everything I enjoyed the week we were there was because you were with me to share it."

Kind of overdrank last night but I'm fine today just don't know if I offended anyone I was drinking with--sorry if I did. Needed an outlet but that wasn't one really--so I'll not be doing that again. Had fun, but I don't like it when I don't remember everything that happened. Seems like I hadn't eaten since lunch the previous day. Bob wanted to order something at the bar for me to eat but I could not even think of any of the greasy things on the menu. So he went next door to Dunkin Donuts to tempt me through sweets and I was told I said, "Nope, don't want that either." This I do not remember. Note to self: drinking never helps. Haven't done that in a very long time and hope it's a very long time before I do it again.